200 – 165 million years ago – Versailles would have been a steamy hot forest or even a red dessert! Plateosaurus and small theropods would have nested in the areas in or near Versailles.
100 – 66 million years ago – Water would have risen, forming an archipelago in France. Versailles may have been underwater or, if lucky, a tropical island! The area would have felt more like Hawaii than its current cool overcast state. Variraptor and other predatory dinosaurs would be roaming in search of food.
12,000 BC – Homo sapiens are forming colonies near Versailles or even on the hill of Versailles. As the Ice Age ended, this would have been a perfect spot for Louis XIV’s artistic and rustic distant relatives to hunt Woolly Mammoths, Woolly Rhinos, and even reindeer.
600 BC – 150 years after Rome is founded, Celtic tribes (Parisii) set up nearby on the Seine which runs through Versailles. The name in latin would become verus Vallis or Versalia which meant literally, “middle of nowhere”.
58 – 50 BC – Julius Caesar crushes the Guals living in the area at Lutetia (Paris). Versailles goes back to being a muddy place nobody wanted.
1180 – after 1000 unimpressive years for the area, the village of Versailles is mentioned in a charter with a population of 100 peasants and a church.
1429 – Joan of Arc comes within 20km of Versailles, but doesn’t bother stopping by.
1589 – The area gets noticed for its hunting by King Henry IV who builds a tiny brick hunting lodge.
1624 – Louis XIII upgrades his dad’s cabin into a small and unimpressive château. Think dark, cold, with leaky ceilings.
1661 – Louis XIV doesn’t want to live in the Louvre and buys the land around Versailles with deep aspirations of going full-on megalomaniac. Starts draining 25% of the national GDP and starving the nation to realize his dreams.
1678 – After some war successes, Louis XIV “The Sun King” decided to remodel his late father’s hunting lodge to make it more comfortable for him and his lovers.
1710 – The Palace was proclamed “finished” boasting a stunning 2300 rooms, 700k square feet, and 2000 acres of gardens. The Sun King required his entire “court” live there with him. Somehow, there were no bathrooms and people peed and poo’d behind staircases.
1715 – The Sun King, Louis XIV dies
1793 – The French Revolution culminated in the execution of Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette, blamed for the nation’s suffering and the extravagance of Versailles.
2008 – The golden gates of Versailles are rebuilt after over 200 years to restore it to its pre-French Revolution state.